Back to School
When I left the military to opt for the family life, I knew I had to finish what I started. I was there in Albuquerque so I dove back into school at the University of New Mexico. I did school part-time as I worked at the Albuquerque Biological Park while procreating at an alarming rate. When my wife and I had 5 kids in 4 years I knew it was time to elevate my pay grade! (as well as get cable!)
We moved to the Las Vegas valley at the end of 2002 right after my baby girl was born. The jobs paid more and there was much greater opportunity to be exploited in the booming Vegas job market. Unfortunately the amount of hours I worked didn't allow for the coexistence of schooling and sanity.
Recently I've really got to thinking about what I really want to do with myself. My job of the past several months has been very successful and full of promotional opportunity, however it still doesn't seem to satisfy a deep seeded desire.
When I was working out of my house during the calendar year of 2005 I became addicted to my kids. I wanted to be a part of everything they did. I wanted them to know that they could rely on me to be there for them. I loved helping them with their homework, teaching them how to play baseball, and just good ole fashion goofing around. The bond I established with them that year profoundly affected me. So much so that I have reevaluated the course I want my life to take.
I started a new job where I am now working 10 to 12 hour days 5 days a week. I go to work right before my three boys go to second grade and don't get home until about 5 minutes before their bedtime. I no longer get to help them with their homework. I no longer have the energy to clown around and play with them like I used to. However, I do have a stable job with benefits and promotional opportunities. It just feels like I'm missing something.
I decided to dive back into school. I am now studying to be a teacher. It's going to take at least 2 years at one night a week to finish up my Bachelors but I'm going to finally do it. I want to be off of work when my kids are out of school. I want to be there for them when they experience the horrors of growing up in the maddening junior high school culture. I want to know the parents of the kids they decide to hang out with. I want to be inimately involved in their educational development. I want to turn them into the men (and the woman) that will be a great father (and a great Mother). Most of all and most selfishly, I want them to be proud of me.
My career choice isn't going to pay off financially but it will provide my heart with the satisfaction of knowing that I'm going to be a father who was there for his children. Perhaps there's a measure of selfishness in that, but it seems to be the type of selfishness that is positively based as far as their futures go.
As far as my sanity goes? I'll need all the blessings available to withstand the pressures of completing my new assignments- all the while maintaining the high standard I set for myself at my place of employment. Thankfully I have an amazing wife who is completely behind me and totally understands my motivation, despite our potential future financial strains. She understands that it is more important to be devoted to the raising of the next generation than it is to be accumulating wealth. If there was a way to incorporate the two I sure hope I discover it! Nonetheless, I admire the respect and motivation she provides me as I tackle this new goal.
Wish me luck for I'll desperately need it... now it's time to get a couple of papers written!