Wednesday, November 21, 2007 

How to Cook a Turkey

This via one of my hometown friends, this is classic...

Kids in the Kindergarten classes where I work were asked about Thanksgiving and "How to Cook a Turkey" and their responses were hilarious. A few were read over the announcements each morning. Someone smartly printed copies for teachers to take home and share. Seeing that they made me laugh out loud each morning and that Matt did the same when he read them. I had to share the joy with all of you. J I have typed out a few of my favorites and some funny excerpts. Who knows, maybe you'll pick up a few tips!

I hope that you have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Jen J


We go to Price Chopper to get the turkey. It is where the cooking stuff is. It is in a little box and chocolate milk comes with it. We buy a small turkey--about 100 pounds. We put it in a pan and we put spices on it--like pepper fire mix so it is very hot. Then we add sugar. You put candy inside the turkey. Then we put butter all over it. The oven had to be really, really hot, about 30 degrees. You cook it for 30 minutes. The stove dings when the turkey is done. We grab a fork, pull the turkey out and take a bit. That's how you know it's done. My Dad and I cook. Mom is feeding Connor, my baby brother. My sisters play games. We eat turkey, roast beef and apples. We drink chocolate milk and have vanilla donuts with cream inside for desert (The dog bone donuts).

Thanksgiving is when we give thanks for people who don't live in our state.

We have Thanksgiving so we can invite people over. To get our turkey we go to a chicken farm (they have turkeys too). You get a net and put the net over the turkey. We put him in a box and he sits in the front seat with Mom. I sit in the back seat with my brothers, Dominic and Noah. They turkey squeaks all the way home. Mom takes him out of the box and he flies around. Mom cleans him in the sink with a washcloth. She cleans his head first. Then she puts him in a pan and puts popcorn all over him--even inside him! She adds water and sticks him in the microwave. She cooks him for 4 minutes. The turkey is done when it's bubbly. You can hear popping all the time he is cooking. I set the table. We pray before we eat. We eat turkey, popcorn, chicken, lobster, apples and carrots. We have apple pie and pumpkin pie with whipped cream for desert.

You get the turkey at Price Chopper. You buy it. Mom puts it in a pan with chicken and gravy. Turn the oven on 8 degrees. Cook it for 50 hours.

You buy a turkey at Hannafords. It is 22 pounds. You take off the wrapping paper and put the turkey in the water (the turkey stinks -- the water gets really disgusting). You take the turkey out of the water and put it in a big pan. You add seasoning and cheese. Put the turkey in the oven for 23 minutes at 18 degrees. The turkey is always done at 6:30 in the morning. It cooks all night. You have to look at the temperature thing -- if it turns blue it's time to eat!

Put [the turkey] in the oven for four minutes. The oven is hot--hotter than the sun--about 30 degrees.

Get a dead turkey that is lying in the woods on the ground. Pick up the turkey and bring it home. There are no feathers when you find it in the woods. Put the turkey in a bowl and put it in the oven. Leave it in for however long you cook dinner. The oven makes noise and then it is done. Take it out of the oven and bring it to the table. Take the turkey out of the bowl and eat it.

My Mom and Aunt Nicole cook the turkey. They put it in a huge pan. The turkey is 52 pounds. They put bacon and A-1 sauce inside the turkey. They put maple syrup on the top, all over the turkey. We cook it for ten minutes. We eat turkey, ham, mayonnaise, apples, broccoli and crackers. We add maple syrup.

You go in the woods. You see a turkey and shoot it with a gun. You pick it up and put it on your four-wheeler and hook it up to something. Bring the turkey home and unhook it. Skin the turkey and put it in a pan and put it in the oven for six minutes. It beep beeps and it's done. You take it out and eat it.

You get a turkey at the Mobil Station. You bring it home. Leave the wrapping on so when you cook it, it will stay hot.

We get our turkey from a turkey farm. The turkey is running around so you have to catch it with a net. You have to clean it first. You use a towel and a hose.

You get a turkey in the forest. You grab it and bring it back to the village. You choke it. Me and Dad roast it. You roast it with fire from sticks. It takes six minutes. We eat it.

You get a turkey from Food City. You bring it home. Take the paper off of it. Put the turkey in a big bowl and put it in the oven. Cook the turkey for 15 hours. It is done when it's not burned. Climb inside and eat it, but only after you shut off the oven.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 

2008 is already blah... how about 2012 Election??

Ok, so I had the Democratic Primary Debate on tonight at my store as I was closing up shop. I'm watching and listening passively perhaps in the hope that because it was in Vegas, there would be the possibility of a drunk strip goer with his three foot long straw dangling out of his plastic party glass half-full of watered down margarita who would cause an interesting scene.

Nope, unfortunately it was just the same old tired lines of vaguery. Not unlike any of the other political debates, regardless of party...

I'm tired of having nothing but the professional politician as the perpetual pick.

Then I came across this:
George Noory considering presidential bid?


I've been a fan of the Nighthawk for a long time, my wife hates when I wear headphones to bed because I can't bear to lay in bed knowing I'm missing a conversation that tends to exist only in Coast to Coast country.

I'll admit that Coast to Coast has always had a 'fantastic' side to it. Particularly while Art Bell was at the helm. There's no doubt that Art took the show to unseen heights in the night time AM radio world. However, I for one, was never much of an Art Bell fan. I found him pretty pretentious myself.

When George Noory took over the show I found myself falling asleep with inbedded earphones much more often... much to my ear canal's discomfort, and my wife's annoyance. He has taken the show into a much more realistic and practical direction.

But he wants to be President??
"I have never run for political office," Noory told WND in an e-mail, "but every night I am reaching out to millions of Americans on the radio and I am deeply concerned that the middle class of the United States is being sold out to multi-national corporations with a globalist agenda."
Hmmm... that sure is true
"Why are we outsourcing millions of high-paying jobs to China and India?" he asked. "Why don't we secure the border and stop the country being flooded with millions of illegal immigrants? These are important questions on the minds of middle class voters all over America who are worried the politicians aren't listening."
We way beyond worried about it, we're living it.
"I believe 2012 will be the beginning of a new age, an age of enlightenment," Noory answered. "The current crop of political candidates looks out of touch, saying nothing new or genuine. By 2012 people are going to be saying, 'We cannot continue down the path we have been going as it will lead us only back to the familiar dead end we now see in Congress and the White House.'"
Assuming Americans will ever enter an age of Enlightenment is perhaps a pipe dream, but it sure is fun to assume isn't it?

Could you imagine Noory as our Prez? Hmm, it's at the very least an interesting thought... perhaps he can summon the powers of the extraterrestial to better demonstrate how to be 'walkers in the light'.

As far as the current crop of candidates go, I see nothing substantial on the Democrat side of the aisle (as usual) and the Republican side has been severely damaged by the promise of conservatism by the Bush Administration that had never been delivered.

What's an independent conservative to do? (But dream)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 


Seeing how I've always considered myself a lesbian in a man's body, can I now use which ever restroom I please? (Strike Montgomery County off of the list of future places to live)
Coed locker rooms given green lightStatute allows people to 'choose a gender'

Now this is a political ad that holds nothing back... you can't handle the truth!
Tacredo TV ad

Blue Angel seeks cheap petro... giving new defination to 'blue hair' in Orlando...
Unexplained Blue Cloud Floats, Darts Around Customers At Gas Station

Don't Taze Me Bro!!!
Muir Beach man cited for cleaning beach

Nappy headed Ho Ho Ho...
Santa Claus outraged by 'ho ho ho' ban

You've gotta fight... for the right...
Sex for the disabled

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 

Impaled by an RPG

Unbelievable story about a soldier who has a live RPG removed from his hip and abdomen and the incredible video of the removal of the live ordinance.



Got my bloggin legs back... for now

Figure I'll get back in the swing a little bit while I'm in the mood.

Life sure is different here in the laid back rural life of the White Mountains as compared to the hustle of Sin City.

While the wife and I may be missing our date nights out on the town, including stops at some of the best restaurants on the planet, and experiences at some awesome concerts; gone are the police sirens throughout the night, the constant buzz of airplanes, and the annoying letters from the home owner association.

All we hear at night now is the occasional furry four-legger checking out what's in the garbage can outside and the occasional breeze rocking the ponderosa pines closely guarding our new home. Oh, and that guy who rides his ATV everywhere.

Date nights now consist of visiting the same restaurant that thankfully makes an incredible prime rib.

My kids no longer have to learn Spanish in order to communicate with half of their class. The public school out here is teaching the Weasel in Kindergarten things that his older brothers weren't learning until they were deep into first grade in the city school.

The kids didn't have to hide from the stifiling summer heat but rather spend their day getting as dirty as possible and collecting tarantulas.

The Strip Lights no longer wash out the stars in the night sky. Now the stars which seemed to have multiplied a thousand fold are sprinkled along the tops of pine tree shaped silhouettes.

I will have to soon trade a winter golf outing in 75 degree weather in December for sledding sessions in the back yard and impromptu snowball fights. (Why did I teach Tyler to throw so well???)

Vegas had an astoundingly diverse population as well- while many of the people here that I have met have yet to wander out of the nest. However now there is no more anonymity in large numbers... I now no longer go shopping without someone who has recently met me asking how things are going.

The White Mountains is also the home of the Apache Indian Tribe. Considering my business, they are a large part of my clientele. They are a unique brand of Native-American with quite the storied history.

There is no doubt that this move was the best thing for our family. Although we have put a several hour drive between us and our beloved family that still resides in Vegas, this environment is an excellent place for our kids to grow and learn more about the outdoors. Oh, and work is going very well to boot. I've managed to turn around one of the largest stores in the region and make it very successful... which was why I was brought out here to begin with., so far so good...


How do I get one of these?

This would look perfect on the back of my Savage'mobile...

*highfive* Wyatt...
Oh, if this offends you...


Huh.. wha..

What is it that can bring me out of a 4 month blog hibernation?


Boeheim exemplifies my wife's feelings about this...

Plus tha 'Cuse is playing what I belive is my blog bud's Alma Mater- St. Joeseph's. Sorry Wyatt, but the freshmen phenoms are going go crazy on the Hawks...

Hmm... I kinda miss this bloggin thang...

About me

  • I'm Peakah
  • From White Mountains, Arizona, United States
  • ...this isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is...
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