« Home | 2008 is already blah... how about 2012 Election?? » | Headlines » | Impaled by an RPG » | Got my bloggin legs back... for now » | How do I get one of these? » | Huh.. wha.. » | Sweet Sedona Weekend » | Fishin on Father's Day » | To Show Low I Go » | Moving... Details to come » 

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 

How to Cook a Turkey

This via one of my hometown friends, this is classic...

Kids in the Kindergarten classes where I work were asked about Thanksgiving and "How to Cook a Turkey" and their responses were hilarious. A few were read over the announcements each morning. Someone smartly printed copies for teachers to take home and share. Seeing that they made me laugh out loud each morning and that Matt did the same when he read them. I had to share the joy with all of you. J I have typed out a few of my favorites and some funny excerpts. Who knows, maybe you'll pick up a few tips!

I hope that you have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Jen J


We go to Price Chopper to get the turkey. It is where the cooking stuff is. It is in a little box and chocolate milk comes with it. We buy a small turkey--about 100 pounds. We put it in a pan and we put spices on it--like pepper fire mix so it is very hot. Then we add sugar. You put candy inside the turkey. Then we put butter all over it. The oven had to be really, really hot, about 30 degrees. You cook it for 30 minutes. The stove dings when the turkey is done. We grab a fork, pull the turkey out and take a bit. That's how you know it's done. My Dad and I cook. Mom is feeding Connor, my baby brother. My sisters play games. We eat turkey, roast beef and apples. We drink chocolate milk and have vanilla donuts with cream inside for desert (The dog bone donuts).

Thanksgiving is when we give thanks for people who don't live in our state.

We have Thanksgiving so we can invite people over. To get our turkey we go to a chicken farm (they have turkeys too). You get a net and put the net over the turkey. We put him in a box and he sits in the front seat with Mom. I sit in the back seat with my brothers, Dominic and Noah. They turkey squeaks all the way home. Mom takes him out of the box and he flies around. Mom cleans him in the sink with a washcloth. She cleans his head first. Then she puts him in a pan and puts popcorn all over him--even inside him! She adds water and sticks him in the microwave. She cooks him for 4 minutes. The turkey is done when it's bubbly. You can hear popping all the time he is cooking. I set the table. We pray before we eat. We eat turkey, popcorn, chicken, lobster, apples and carrots. We have apple pie and pumpkin pie with whipped cream for desert.

You get the turkey at Price Chopper. You buy it. Mom puts it in a pan with chicken and gravy. Turn the oven on 8 degrees. Cook it for 50 hours.

You buy a turkey at Hannafords. It is 22 pounds. You take off the wrapping paper and put the turkey in the water (the turkey stinks -- the water gets really disgusting). You take the turkey out of the water and put it in a big pan. You add seasoning and cheese. Put the turkey in the oven for 23 minutes at 18 degrees. The turkey is always done at 6:30 in the morning. It cooks all night. You have to look at the temperature thing -- if it turns blue it's time to eat!

Put [the turkey] in the oven for four minutes. The oven is hot--hotter than the sun--about 30 degrees.

Get a dead turkey that is lying in the woods on the ground. Pick up the turkey and bring it home. There are no feathers when you find it in the woods. Put the turkey in a bowl and put it in the oven. Leave it in for however long you cook dinner. The oven makes noise and then it is done. Take it out of the oven and bring it to the table. Take the turkey out of the bowl and eat it.

My Mom and Aunt Nicole cook the turkey. They put it in a huge pan. The turkey is 52 pounds. They put bacon and A-1 sauce inside the turkey. They put maple syrup on the top, all over the turkey. We cook it for ten minutes. We eat turkey, ham, mayonnaise, apples, broccoli and crackers. We add maple syrup.

You go in the woods. You see a turkey and shoot it with a gun. You pick it up and put it on your four-wheeler and hook it up to something. Bring the turkey home and unhook it. Skin the turkey and put it in a pan and put it in the oven for six minutes. It beep beeps and it's done. You take it out and eat it.

You get a turkey at the Mobil Station. You bring it home. Leave the wrapping on so when you cook it, it will stay hot.

We get our turkey from a turkey farm. The turkey is running around so you have to catch it with a net. You have to clean it first. You use a towel and a hose.

You get a turkey in the forest. You grab it and bring it back to the village. You choke it. Me and Dad roast it. You roast it with fire from sticks. It takes six minutes. We eat it.

You get a turkey from Food City. You bring it home. Take the paper off of it. Put the turkey in a big bowl and put it in the oven. Cook the turkey for 15 hours. It is done when it's not burned. Climb inside and eat it, but only after you shut off the oven.

Very funny! Love the times, temps and sizes! Surprised some go chase their turkey down! I'd want to keep it as a pet! ;)

Hope you and your family have a Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm currently interviewing my kids on how to make a thanksgiving dinner...

...should make a good subject for my next post...

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Kids being kids is never not funny. I've read this kind of thing probably a hundred times on various subjects, but a kids perspective on life is always just do darned adorable!

Thankful to have you for a brother dude, and also thankful that you've started blogging again.

Isn't that the truth...

If I can get enough spare time I'll post what my kids said, it's almost as funny.

They were awesome, Josh.

Thanks for the laughs.

Hope you and your family had a great Thanksgiving.

Out of the mouths of babes, right?

Anyway, hope you had a great Thanksgiving! :)

Hey Peak, will you be hosting the Fantasy Golf league again this year?

You bet your sweet bippy I am...

Group ID #1525
Password: peak

Post a Comment

About me

  • I'm Peakah
  • From White Mountains, Arizona, United States
  • ...this isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is...
Check Me Out
Listed on BlogShares
Powered by Blogger
and Blogger Templates