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Thursday, February 22, 2007 

Hi, remember me? The most slackinest bloggah around?

Lemme take a survey of my most trusted friends...

You come home from work, you see your beautiful babies.

Your 4 year is old quieter than usual. She goes to the bathroom and calls you to help her wipe her bottom...

...you discover hand-marks that left her bee-hind beet red. The 'Nanny' you hired quickly follows you to the bathroom and claims that she fell on her bottom while playing at the playground.

How do you keep from beating the $*!# out of the woman? Exactly what methods to you employ to keep from ripping her head off and fitting it where the sun don't shine?

Just wondering...
Please leave your uncensored comments below.

That is a tuffy! Did you do a police report? She shouldn't be around kids if she can't control herself. Leaving handprints seems pretty out of control. I know how mad I would be, just thinking about it, and I know you're even madder having seen it on your baby! Try to stay in control--but I'd be all up in her face with what I thought of that!
Sorry that happened to your sweetie.

The detective in me says to make a police report and have her arrested and prosecuted. And DEFINITELY take pictures is the hand marks are visible.

The blogger in me says to make an example out of her by impaling her abusive ass on a metal stake!

take pictures, report her then fire her... it'll be difficult, to say the least, without nanny help, but she definitely should not be around your kids with a 'disposition' such as that....

Call the police. Delicately try to see if your child or any of your children have experienced other episodes of physical punishment. If it happened once, it probably happened before.

I agree with everyone else.

I feel sickened by this person. Truly.

Good God Peak! Have been THERE - have seen THERE in other places and there's no way to make it any better (I already know you fired the woman!!) Could have taken pictures and pressed charges - too whose pain? IF your angel was a little older - you could ask her what she wants you to do. These are the times that make you wonder if two working parents is really a good idea! Being "poor" sharing love and each other is much better than being successful and frightened, concerned and damaged. Our first "sitter" for Donovan was a much better parent than I could ever be. In Maryland - the offer a list you can call and copy - of people who have meant certain requirements before they can baby-sit. I had questions that I asked about 20 different ladies who offered there services - questions that you may not be able to ask any more (PC). I asked if they smoked, how much they drive around, how many other children were there and even if they'd keep a diaper pail and use CLOTH diapers!! I was TOO picky - BUT - It was a wonderful experience. THEN - In a couple of years - we had to use a different sitter. I just asked the wife of a guy who depended on my husband to take him to work (knowing they may need the money) - to watch DJ. It was similar to your experience and a few other things most people would question. Needless to say, I quickly found another SAINT to guard our angel. EVEN later than that - - Hearing others talk about it and sitting down to figure the numbers out. It actually often costs more for both parents to work. Double insurance, double cars payments and repairs, child expense, extra clothing, more food out of the home and other things that could be done without - Often makes for negative income and positive damage in many ways. I was always happy when hubby and I could work in locations near each other - needing only one vehicle. THEN - while hubby was in Turkey - only one car was needed. I still wish many times that I would have just stayed home - had more children and NEVER allowed TWO cars to exist - just drop of Hubby and use the car when needed.

ANYWAY - - YOU were there - ONLY YOU know the damage done. As you talk with Mrs. Peak - God will guide your next actions!

God Bless your choices and God Bless your little girl. She's too young to be punished to this extent!

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do next.

I kept this somewhat vague on purpose just to see the response. It was my wife who was the one who came home and discovered the handprints. It was lucky for her that I was not home for who knows what would have happened. Thankfully my wife kept her head, dismissed the "nanny" and grabbed the camera.

After I got home we discussed what to do. My 4 year old is pretty articulate and was able to describe what happened in her own words. She said that she didn't listen to "the nanny" and was spanked on the bottom. She even demonstrated how hard she was slapped by slapping us on the hand as hard as she was smacked. Only a parent can tell when their child is making it up, we felt she was as honest as her young mind could be.

The following morning our "nanny" mysteriously came down with an illness and had to be "hospitalized" (although no paperwork was ever seen- her husband works for me- isn't that a kick) and would be unable to make it. Good thing for her, for I was waiting and had a lot of things to say.

-Her husband also couldn't make it to work the following day either ironically-

My wife then took Haley, the pictures, and the notes left on my desk written by the "nanny" with information on how to become a foster parent to the local police station. I had to go right to work because all of a sudden I was short staffed.

Unfortunately the police told my wife that unless she could PROVE malicious intent there was no case. They even refused to file a police report because a red bottom (that had begun to turn a deep purple) from a spanking from a "nanny" was not proof of such... despite the proof of her intentions to make money off of the state by fostering children.

We were pretty sickened. All we were asking was for some kind of paper trail incase someone did a background.

Well, her wuss of a husband came to work the next day and had absolutely nothing to say about anything. His thing of a wife never called to check on Haley or to appologize. She only called and arrogantly asked if she was needed that day.

YOU'RE A COWARD! was my wife's reply and the "nanny" abruptly hung up.

And that's that. We have a sweet girl with a teaching degree now as their nanny and a squeaky clean record. Instead of the kids being upset when we left because we were leaving them with the old nanny, they're excited to see the new one.

Not that this is the best situation for them to have someone else with them for several hours a day, but it is what it is for now.

I appreciate your guys' input, it's helped me vent some of my anger toward that thing. Her hubby is still a joke of a man and I hope he reads this... I know I've given him my website address before, his sick wife too...

But like cowards, they'll continue to exist like all is well...

Damn, man.
I'm just glad you got rid of her before something even worse happened.

Your restraint is commendable, I might add.

Joshua- I'm so angry that this would happen to your little girl. I'm relieved you and your wife caught this early on and have been able to find someone more appropriate. I almost wish you would publish their names, but that would just cause YOU problems... not them. I'm sorry that there are idiots out there like that...

Yep, I'd take pictures, fire her (obviously) and file a police report. God that would piss me off.

As a mother, grandmother and someone who worked with at-risk and abused children, I can offer a few pieces of advice.

1. Nanny Cam. 'nuff said.

2. Always always always listen to the children. They may not say 'abuse' with words, but they surely will with reactions to the perpetrator.

3. Classic signs of abuse generally show between the neck and the knees of the child, check for bruising or marks. Check for bilateral bruising on the arms, a sign of shaking. If the child's behavior changes, if mood changes, if things like bedwetting, nightmares or anxiety appear: get suspicious.

4. If the police will not act or react to reports of abusive caretakers, Child Protective Services will. You can file a complaint with them to make sure you have a paper trail.

5. Go to Arizona's EGOV site for Child Protective Services, and be sure to check the links for Child Care Providers. You will find helpful information and forms, including Certified Child Care applications, as well as logs of accidents, injuries and illnesses, here: https://egov.azdes.gov/cmsinternet/appforms.aspx?category=86

6. Make a code word like .. oh .. Daffy Duck .. because it might be hard for kids to come up with words for abuse. You can let them pick the word :)

7. Teach the kids to say NO!, loudly and firmly, if anyone lays a hand on them. Oddly, it tends to shock the dumb*** back into reality.

Make sure those precious babies know that you will always protect them...and to tell you if anyone, ANYONE gets stupid.

God Bless You, your wife and your children. Remember: prayer works, too!

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