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Sunday, March 05, 2006 

A Subtle Message from my Beautiful Wife

This needs no introduction. It's simply titled Hormones and my wife left it in my email this afternoon... I'm beginning to fear for my life. If you do not hear from me in a week, I'm sure you'll piece together a possible scenario.

Well, here goes:
Hormones

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff......

..And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.

Here have some chocolate.
Wish me Luck this week!

Hide the knives and learn to sleep with one eye open. Good luck.

Yeah, my poor hubby has already learned that when The Mood has struck it's best to forget the flowers and just show up with a container of Moose Tracks ice cream. ;) Smart guy.

Ah, the many wonders of marvelous chocolate! ;)

I'm not sure if it's worth it but, the "I'm sorrys" the next week are always entertaining.

Words to live by.
heh.
Potential Murder Suspect...
good one.

Peakah, Awesome Brah, Awesome!!

Due to this household's atmosphere this day - thought the other half needed some words - well enjoyed! ;-D

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  • I'm Peakah
  • From White Mountains, Arizona, United States
  • ...this isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is...
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