50 Degrees and Sunny
It's another beautiful winter day here in southern Nevada! On that note I thought I would empathize with my Upstate NY brethren and present Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate NY:
"If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping
that the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in Upstate New York.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Upstate New York.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate New York.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Upstate New York.
If your town has more bars than churches, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
"Vacation" means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
Carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Down South to you means Corning.
A brat is something you eat.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
"If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping
that the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in Upstate New York.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Upstate New York.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate New York.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Upstate New York.
If your town has more bars than churches, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
"Vacation" means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
Carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Down South to you means Corning.
A brat is something you eat.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
Ha ha ha! Funyy stuff. I could see my family hometown of Caribou Maine in every sentence, not to mention here in Anchorage Alaska.
www.ravingconservative.com
Posted by
Daniel Levesque |
9:34 AM
At least we don't eat our young when they're bad. lol
Posted by
Uber |
11:31 AM
Lol...those are perfect! It was below freezing for 16 days straight here, had two days just above, and now we're back to well below for the next five days or so. You know you miss it! =)
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:52 PM
Daniel: '...livin in a winter wonderland...'
Uber: But they're so tasty when they young and tender... whoa, what are you talking about?!?!
JenH: naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Posted by
Peakah |
5:58 PM
As a fellow displaced Upstate NY-er, I hope you don’t mind if I contribute a few:
If your state has more colleges than jails…
(Just to add a bit of finesse:) If you have heard two people discuss their deer hunting prowess and one says “I’ve killed four with my gun and two with my truck…”
You know what a “white hot” is…
If you were proud when you read that your local Wegman’s ran out of beer instead of milk during the last blizzard…
If you’ve ever had a fluffernutter sandwich…
If you ever bought those little whistling-things for the front bumper of your car and found the deer still just stand in the road staring at you as you barrel towards them (at 65 mph through 2 feet of snow)…
If you know what “lake effect” means and it makes you cringe…
And to take it a little bit west… If you have eaten a “Garbage Plate” happily, braved the bathrooms at the Main St. location, and consider meeting Nick Tahou one of the high-points of your life, you might live in Rochester.
If Wease means more to you than just something that people with asthma do…
Damn, you make me almost homesick. Of course, it’s 60 here in Phoenix. At 8:00 pm. Oh yeah, that’s why I left.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:12 PM
Rachel: buwaahahahha... those are great...
Wegmans... I worked for about 6 years there...
...homesick my butt!
Posted by
Peakah |
7:40 PM
I only did one year at Weggies, but it was night shift (stocking) so I think that counts for 2 or 3 in real years. There's still no store out this way that even comes close.
Sorry bout the ugly formatting, forgot just how evil word is...
Oh, ever have Blatz beer?
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:00 PM
I was a grocery ass. mgr for a couple years while in school at Syracuse, it was a tough job but Weggies took care of their employees pretty well.
*laugh* Blatz beer... never had it be remember the name... didn't they name it after the sound immediately following the first sip?
How bout Jolt Cola... now that I was addicted to!
Posted by
Peakah |
8:30 PM
Every time I'm home I fill out a comment card at Wegman's begging them to go west. Danny's got to get sick of the snow some day.
No, that was the sound the next morning. What does one expect for $1.79 a six-pack?
And then there's the all time classic: Genny Cream Ale. Never understood the charm, but I've even seen it in stores out here. Damn near ran screaming from the beer section too.
Jolt's still out there, I've got their candies in my laptop bag. Yeah, even those have caffeine.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:56 PM
Sadly, I think I've heard the same Jeff Foxworthy lines used about Minnesota and Colorado having lived/gone to school in both wonderful states. Mother Nature may indeed be bipolar, but there are many states in which Halloween costumes must go over snowsuits to be practical, and in which you can use your heat and A/C in one day.
Nevertheless, its awesome that you have such a wonderful sense of identity related to Upstate New York. We used to go there every summer to visit family and see historical stuff that my dad was big into. All I can truly profess to remembering is the humidity!
Posted by
The Village Idiot |
1:05 AM