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Friday, January 13, 2006 

"The Impaler" for Prez

The Man over at GOP and the City posted this today and I immediately thought that Fmragtops was running for Governor of Minnesota!
Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am Governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname 'The Impaler' means. Right in front of our State Capital. Then Fed's can take the terrorist's body from the impaling stake. If the US Department of Justice (DOJ)wants to charge me with brutally murdering a terrorist, they may do so. I do not see an American Jury convicting me.
At first glance this guy seems pretty cool! But then you go to his website and wonder how many times his mom dropped him on his head as an infant.

Jonathon Sharkey, also known as "The Impaler", plans to launch his gubernatorial campaign... on Friday the 13th of course.

He vows not to hide his evil side as other candidates surely will...
During my time as Governor, drug dealers and users will live in fear. I will introduce extremely harsh punishment for those who not only use illegal drugs, I will fight to make dealers serve life in prison, or better yet, Impalement.
Perhaps this guy could benefit from some relaxation medication! Or at least a phat doobie or two...

Dude has quite the life story...
My mother was a practicing Hecate Witch, and my father's bloodline is from Transylvanian Vampyres.They divorced when I was 4. My father shortly re-married this lady named Lee. They had a daughter, my half-sister shortly after their
marriage...

...In August 1988, while visiting a relative, I met a girl who was totally taken by me and who I was. She was hott and sexy, so I drove her home that night on my bike, and slept with her. Though I do not regret sleeping with her, in 1996 I found that she was my half-sister who I hadn't seen since 1970. Talk about letting your ego get the best of you!
**shudder** Now that's down right creepy!

This guy bears his (lack of) soul on his websites and proudly proclaims his love for Satan, who he maintains, is misunderstood...
Uhhh right...
I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares.

I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy.
Now that's sure to get Jesse Ventura's vote...

He has already declared his candidacy for the Presidency in 2008! Hey, we can see one witch vs. another...

Someone may want to run some tests on the water in the Land of 10,000 Lakes!



Dude, how about using those oh so scary swords and trim the weeds around your house...

If you happen to think of some questions for "The Impaler", you can do so here... just don't piss him off, you'll wind up on the wrong end of a stick.

As seen at the Bonfire of the Vanities #133 at Hippo Campy

(linked with: The Wide Awakes, Don Surber, Adam's Blog, third world county, TMH's Bacon Bits, The Uncooperative Blogger, Diane's Stuff, Stop the ACLU, NIF, Basil's Blog, Bloggin Outloud, Imagine Kitty, Jo's Cafe, Stray Dog)

What a loon. That guy is a few boyscouts short of a jamboree.

I scrolled so fast that I couldn't even be bothered to finished reading in my haste to comment on those weeds. lol Almost missed the fact that you beat me to it.

Yadda yadda Satan worshipper blah blah nut job.

Dude I could never trust someone who lets the weeds go like that. And poses for an insane photo in front of em? The shame...

DPT: dude's no boyscout...

Uber: weeds are bad, but wearing a blanket and thinking you're a badass takes the cake...

I like that he put his pro-wrestling career aside for politics and blood drinking.

TM: very selfless eh?

He's a sad, messed up individual. I don't know how anyone could look at him and say, "gee, I wanna be a satanist - they're just too cool." I think he played too much D&D stuff while on something not legal.

Based on the looks of his arm strength, I wouldn't be surprised if his sword bonked him seconds after the pic was taken. I have some authority as a physical therapist.

This weakling needs to suck life-blood of others to gain any power.

And, looks like property values will decline severely if this A-hole gets in.

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