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Monday, February 06, 2006 

The Bonfire of the Vanities #136

With that slogan there's no better place for this carnival than your rookie host and perpetual source of Bonfire of the Vanities submissions... Peakah.

I know some of you are probably wondering where in the world did that nickname come from?
I feel a bonfire worthy post emerging!

Did I get caught up in the Pokemon craze and identify myself with that popular little furry yellow freak who can launch lightning through his/her tail as well as cause seizures in Japanese kids sitting 2 feet from their television?

Well, as much as I'd like to have the ability to fry moonbats with only a flick of my tail, this is not the source of the nickname.

Rather it's the result of hanging with a bunch of drunk Irish chowdah heads at Syracuse University... for some reason I tended to congregate with the micks from Roxbury.

When they learned my last name was McPeak the nickname Peakah naturally emerged as the moniker of choice when being screamed at to fetch another beer for the upperclassmen.

Believe me, after years of middle and high school nicknames that can easily emerge from the cruel prepubescent mind of fledgling male cohorts such as McFreak, McFly, McGeek, McCheeks... I was quite happy to take on the Peakah persona.

Although I do not speak with a New England accent, the voices inside my head routinely do... therefore I type with an accent.

But enough about me, allow me to feed posts to the soon to be cracklin' Bonfire of the Vanities...

...in order of snap, cracklin, and poppin into my inbox...

Free Money Finance submits a yawner that he begs me to toss into the bonfire:
Are 0% Loans Good, Bad, or Does it Depend? My Response
I hated this post and this topic even before it took me an hour to
write this response to people who have no sense anyway. Burn it, please!!!
Done deal... that's enough BS to get the ole bonfire roarin' and we've just begun...
*now that's perfect bonfire kindling*

but wait, there's more financial talk to feed the fire...

Nickel finds a Creative Use of Your Flexible Spending Account

I was just trolling my site statistics (as I do from time to time) when I discovered that someone found their way to this site by Googling 'flexible spending account beer'.
Ok, is the bonfire being fueled by financial spam? What is this crap?
*over the shoulder toss into the emerging flames*

Two Dogs admits
Posting screen shots of stupid web searches is the laziest form of blogging and I excel at it.
Hooray for MSN! Post #9... congrats on your ranking for the search 'hot+men+sex'... yikes!
*tossed into the fire*

Peace Moonbeam at The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles submits Disaster Relief.
Shameful and insensitive joking in the wake of Katrina
I'm saving this one from the fire, it's a keeper that should be at the Carnival of Comedy instead! Actually check this post out.

Gnotalex at Dodgeblogium searches for the perfect blonde but comes up with Jessica Alba... dude, she's no Heather Locklear... is she even blonde?
*chucks into fire*

Jack Cluth from The People's Republic of Seabrook researches the hidden dangers of bread in Tomorrow, we'll discuss the evils of milk. Here's a taste:
Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
It may explain poor Jack's deficiency of common sense as well...
*flung to the flames*

LeatherPenguin submits More Fingerboard Follies where he fisks members of CSI. No, not that CSI, the College of Staten Island.

Sean at The American Mind scoffs at Mastercard's attempt to market to geeks and hackers during a sporting event with Hackers Fave Super Bowl Ad.
*burn baby burn*

Spirit Fingers at Give me spirit fingers dammit shows how the avian flu may be influencing high society and their fashion shows with Managing your risk exposure. Another keeper I'll refer to the Carnival of Comedy... Check it out!

Another one that made me laugh out loud and echoes exactly my sentiments on the SuperBowl Halftime show is Blog d'Elisson's THE LIVING DEAD. Wow, we're on a roll... another post spared from the bonfire per the bonfire keeper- moi.

Just when I thought it was getting good, Alabama Improper induces a stomach lining seizure with her submission appropriately named GAG.
*flame broiled post*

Sinner at 7 Deadly Sins cruises Instapundit with a jealous eye in his post Envy: Insty Crap. Evil Glen linking MySpace tards?? Someone check to see if Evil Glen's pajama's need to be cleaned.
*bowled into the bonfire*

Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy reveals a disturbing side to her twisted mind when she falsely exclaims that "I’m full of ideas". Please please please never ever ever link to 'tubgirl' ever again... I'm begging you! I've been unclean since my unfortunate introduction with 'tubgirl'.
*hurled into bonfire as far as freaking possible*

Random Yak brings us some News from the "That's Just Wrong" desk. C'mon dawg, have a heart, what's wrong with dressing up your favorite lil furry woodland creature? Ok, I get it now... the fur on this one should go up quick in the bonfire...

Mensa Barbie seems to be seeing things in View the Big Angel...
*curve-ball to the combustion pit*

Interested-Participant submits RSPCA Urges Hemorrhoid Cream for Cane Toads. Nothing like a lil bit o'toad whacking to feed the bonfire... I gotta wash my hands after handling this one.
*fanning the flames*

And finally, just before 9pm on the Westcoast and when 24 is about to begin, and as the deadline for submissions to the bonfire is expiring, Fitch throws some Democratic Underground madness at me where he is Reporting From the DUmmy Front.

Now I need a shower.

But upon actually reading the post instead of skimming like I do when I see links to the DU for fear of over exposure to mental derangement, Fitch points out that there are actually a few level headed readers in the DU! Well, duh... there's always exceptions!
*pitched to the pyre*

Well, I managed not to get burned too bad... a rarity for me when in close proximity to fire...

Thanks to Kevin at Wizbang for allowing me to host,
and to Conservative Cat for the Carnival submission form...

And most importantly, thanks to you, for killing your time with me as I bravely scoured through a crapload of awful posts... Now I know how my readers feel on a daily basis.

UPDATE: One slacker submitted past the deadline... Don't you understand deadlines hon? I'll go easy on ya cuz Blogger was down for a good hour earlier as usual. So here goes...

FirstBrokenAngel submits a lil Joke to appropriately end this 136th episode of the Bonfire of the Vanities. 136?!? Time to retire this puppy don't 'cha think Kevin?


Hey! Quit complaining. I beat the deadline by half an hour. Sheesh!

Oh you've done a bad bad thing here Peakah. If I now have the urge to refer to you as "McFreak", imagine how tempting this will be for less schweet bloggers than myself.

McFreak...lol. Ahhh.

You da host wit da most!!!

I keep meaning to enter, but every time I sit down to do so, I think of Savonarola's original "Bonfires of the Vanities" in Florence and... just can't bring myself to post...


But then, tossing some of my posts on the fire wouldn't be quite the same as Savonarola and his followers burning paintings by Botticelli...

FIAR: I was just ready to publish when your email creeped into the inbox... schmuck

Peace Moonbeam: Your site was a pleasant suprise to come across during the bonfire...

Uber: Those were days when I let it bother me... I can take it, bring it on guber...

CUG: *bow* thanks dawg.

David: hey, nuttin wrong with high hopes eh? Ok, now back to reality already...

Sheesh Peakah, you wanted me to send something and I did even tho it was late. My blogger was down for 5 hours - argh!!!! slacker, eh?
maybe I am, maybe I'm not.


Well, that oughtta learn ya not to publish before the deadline. Oh, and it ain't my fault that you guys have to watch "24" 3 hours late. Yup. 3 whole hours after us. PPPPPPFFFFT!

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About me

  • I'm Peakah
  • From White Mountains, Arizona, United States
  • ...this isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is...
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